Well, we’re less than a month away from the start of the NBA season. Are you excited? I know I am. Anyway, I’m here with the sequel to last week’s top five list. Always save the worst for last, right? This week I’ve got the top five guys I just can’t stand to listen to. The five guys who I’m dreading listening to this season. You know what I’m talking about. Those guys that just make you want to throw something at the TV. Well, for me, these are those guys.
5. Reggie Miller
I love Reggie, don’t get me wrong. He was awesome to watch as a player. He may have been the greatest shooter in the history of the NBA. He just sucks as a commentator. He just has this attitude of “just pay me my damn money!” Reggie just never really seems to like commentating and he just feels out of place with the rest of the TNT crew. That and he just never really has anything valuable to say. Maybe it’s that he’s trying to play Mr. Nice. He’s just not that guy.
4. Mark Jackson
I mentioned my dislike for this dude in my last article. I just can’t get around the fact that he’s just there because he used to play basketball and he is a good gag to play off of Van Gundy. During the last NBA Finals it just seemed like this guy didn’t really know what he was talking about. That’s especially weird considering that he played the game professionally and quite well at that. I rank him a little low on the list because the rest of the squad is just too offensive. Jackson may be dumb enough to mistake Kobe Bryant for Michael Jordan, but these other three guys are way worse.
3. Stuart Scott
Note to Stuart Scott: You’re not cool! When I watch the half time shows with Stuart Scott and which ever guy the found in the back, I always feel bad for the guy trying to have a conversation with Stuart. It’s like seeing someone trying to have a conversation with Michael from The Office. Stuart thinks he uses all of this cool and hip lingo, but what he really sounds like is a giant nerd. I have no problem with nerds, but I don’t want to watch Urkle every time I watch basketball.
2. Kenny Smith
Kenny Smith is a tool. I remember this one time on TNT you had Magic Johnson and Charles Barkley calling each other hall of fame players. Magic and Charles are in the hall, Kenny Smith is not. Kenny had the biggest sour face look, and it was sad. Kenny was not a great player. He was good, but not great. Most of the time, I think he just has a job because he’s good at making fun of Charles Barkley. Other than that, there’s not much Kenny adds that a hundred other former players couldn’t also do.
1. Bill Walton
Did you expect someone else? Bill Walton is the biggest whack job in sports. I remember in this one game, ESPN goes to commercial with a shot of a ball hitting the rim a few times and then bouncing in. Bill Walton proclaims “Nothing but net!” I remember wondering if he was watching the same game that I was. That’s a question I seem to ask at least once whenever I watch a game in which Walton is commentating. The guy must have done too many drugs back in the 70’s. Actually, who am I kidding? You know this guy has a “legalize it” sticker on the back of his Hybrid. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it does make him suck at calling basketball games. Maybe Bill Walton is just freakin’ crazy!
I’ll see you all Friday. Until then, click on the link below.
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