10.27.08 Top Five NBA Champions

The end of the off season is nearly here! Tomorrow night we’ll see the Boston Celtics awarded their NBA championship rings before they face off with the Cleveland Cavaliers. So, I figured why not devote this week’s top five list to the five best championship teams of all time.

5. Los Angeles Lakers, 2001

The best regular season with the Kobe & Shaq pairing was probably in 2000. Though, I just have to go with their second championship season. The Lakers’ regular season record wasn’t all that astounding in 2001, but no one can knock their record in that year’s playoffs. The Lakers went on to win the NBA Championship by sweeping their first three series and then only dropping one game to the 76ers in the Finals. 16-1 still stands as the best playoff record in NBA history.

4. Los Angeles Lakers, 1988

We all will never forget Pat Riley’s “Next year, we’re going to do it again!” statement in the 1987 NBA Championship rally for his then team of the Showtime Lakers. The Lakers did “do it again” the following year in 1988 and in doing so they became the first NBA team to repeat as NBA Champions since the #2 selection, nearly 20 years earlier. I could almost pick any of the Magic-Kareem championship teams, but I like this one the best.

3. Boston Celtics, 1986

Boston in 1986 may have been the toughest city in history for any team to win in. The most famous moment of Larry Bird’s best season may actually have been Michael Jordan going off for 63 in the Garden, setting a still-standing playoff record. Still, the Celtics only lost three games in their quest for their 16th NBA championship. This was the best of the Larry Bird era. How could one not put it on the list?

2. Boston Celtics, 1969

The Bill Russell era Boston Celtics will probably always remain as the NBA’s greatest dynasty. They won eleven championships! It’s nearly impossible to not include one of those years on the list. We all know the story of the game seven fliers in which the Wilt Chamberlain Lakers were literally guaranteeing victory. Just as famous is Bill Russell’s response to seeing the fliers. “There are a lot of things that can happen, but them winning this game isn’t one of them.” Bill Russell led his team to its eleventh championship and then walked off into the sunset.

1. Chicago Bulls, 1996

Okay, I know this is really the obvious choice. It’s Michael Jordan, baby! How could his 72 win season not be the #1 choice? Many will decry about the lack of competition, but there’s one fact that always brings me back to the point that this was the best single season in NBA history. The 1996 Chicago Bulls dominated the NBA with a strength that no other NBA team has ever done. Nothing else needs to be said!

You may have noticed that in a top five list for the best NBA champions of all time I only have three teams listed. Well, when you realize that the Celtics and the Lakers have divided up about half of all the NBA titles that have been won, what can you do?

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10.22.08 Top Five MVP Winners

Can you feel it? The new NBA season is only six days away! Okay, maybe you can’t “feel it”, but I think it’s pretty exciting. So exciting in fact that I’m continuing my best NBA award winners series today. Okay, maybe it’s apart of my schedule, but I still think it’s fun. I’m nearing the end of the line with the series. In fact, we’re already here with the biggest individual award in the game. Let’s see what I’ve chosen for the best MVP winning seasons of all time.

5. Magic Johnson, 1987

Magic Johnson would win three MVP awards in his career, but it was in his first MVP season in which he was the most dominant. Magic was never much of a scorer, but in 1987 he would put up his career best average with 23.9 ppg. Magic would also add averages of 12.2 assists per game and 6.3 rebounds per game. Those kinds of numbers for any player would be astounding, but for Magic it was just above par.

4. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, 1971

Kareem has gotten a lot of praise in The Quick Report over the last couple of weeks. Though, when I list the best MVPs of all time, how can I leave him off the list? In 1971 he was actually still Lew Alcindor. In 1971 Lew wouldn’t only average 31.7 ppg and 16 rpg, but he would also lead the Milwaukee Bucks to their only NBA championship. Kareem or Lew, either way, he would go on to win five more MVP trophies, adding to a grand total to an NBA-best of six. Still, as far as stats and victories, I like his first win the best.

3. Shaquille O’Neal, 2000

For as dominant as Shaq may have been in his prime, he only has one MVP trophy. In 2000 we were still witnessing the rise of Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett and Kobe Bryant, but Shaq was unquestionably the best player in the NBA. With averages of 29.7 ppg and 13.6 rpg, who would question that? Shaq would go on to lead the Lakers to their first title since the Magic Johnson days. In the years directly following Michael Jordan’s retirement from the Chicago Bulls there was no more dominant of a force than Shaq, and 2000 was the peak of his prime.

2. Larry Bird, 1986

Sometimes when it comes down to the Larry vs. Magic debate, people don’t realize that Magic only really ever beat Larry is the assists department. Larry almost always scored more points and grabbed more rebounds. In 1986, the last of Bird’s three-peat as MVP, he lead the Celtics into being a team for the ages. They would finish the season win 67 wins and one of the greatest home court records in history. Larry would see his numbers dip in his final MVP season, but losing the individual numbers only gave Bird his most glorious season as a pro.

1. Michael Jordan, 1998

Michael Jordan won five MVP trophies in his NBA career, does it really matter which one I pick? The reason I go with 1998 is that I think it sums up Michael’s career perfectly. Scottie Pippen was hurt for a big chunk of the season and Michael had to put the team on his back. It’s when Michael was always at his best. It wasn’t his best season as far as stats are concerned, but I think David Stern summed it up best when he gave Michael the award. Stern said “After 13 seasons, you still go out every night and play like Michael Jordan.” Nothing else needs to be said.

I’ll be back Friday with my all-time team selections for the coaching staff.

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10.15.08 Top Five NBA Scoring Champions

Today I’m continuing my series of Wednesday top five blogs and also my best NBA award winners series. You can’t hate on a two for one scenario! It’s funny though this week. The scoring title is one of the most popular awards, but also one of the least respected. The NBA barely acknowledges the award’s existence. Still, the fans love it and so do the players. The most popular aspect of basketball is the scoring. As cool as I may think a good rebounder is, the fans will always reward the scorer over all else. So, here I am, doing my part with honoring the best scoring champions of all time.

5. Rick Barry, 1967 35.6 ppg

The other four selections on today’s list could’ve been seen from a mile away. Though, as it is with many top five lists, the toughest selection is generally the last one. You would think that maybe George Gervin, Allen Iverson or maybe even Bob McAdoo would warrant the #5 spot. I figured it would be Allen Iverson, but that’s why you have to do research. In 1967 Ricky Barry average 35 ppg! I always knew Barry was a good player and a legend when it came to free throws, but 35 ppg? I didn’t expect that!

4. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, 1972 34.8

Kareem is one of the greatest scorers in NBA history. We all know that he has the all-time career scoring record, but what’s forgotten is that in his prime Kareem could score with the best of them. Kareem would win two scoring titles, both with him average over 30 ppg. I think he’s remembered most for being one the most durable NBA players ever, but in his early days, Kareem could light it up. In the last ten years only has the #3 selection topped Kareem’s 1972 average of 34.8 ppg.

3. Kobe Bryant, 2006 35.4 ppg

Kobe may be starting to show signs of decline, but two seasons ago he put up one of the greatest scoring years in NBA history. We all know about the night of 81, but to be able to average 35 points a game is totally remarkable. Kobe Bryant couldn’t really have any bad nights. To get an average like that you have to be “on” every night. Kobe’s scoring that year brought back memories of the number two selection. That’s not something that’s easy to do on a credible level. In 2006, Kobe Bryant did just that.

2. Michael Jordan 1987 37.1 ppg

When it comes to greatest scorer in NBA history most of the fans are split. It’s either Wilt or Michael. No one else can seriously claim to warrant discussion. Wilt has the highest scoring games, but Michael dominated the NBA’s scoring for longer. Wilt scored 100, but Michael won 10 scoring titles. Though when it comes to an individual year, Michael falls all the way to the second spot. 37 ppg is almost unthinkable in today’s NBA. Kobe Bryant had to play at an unconscious level in 2006 just to get his average to 35 ppg. Michael’s scoring in 1987 is a consistency in that area that we’ve yet to see surpassed since.

1. Wilt Chamberlain, 1962 50.4 ppg

Okay, this is the obvious winner. Who would truly argue that this shouldn’t be the top season? I remember seeing an interview with Wilt when he was asked what the toughest thing he’d ever done in his career was. He responded that everyone loves the night that he scored 100, but he felt that average 50 ppg for an entire season was much harder. He said that every night, if you he didn’t score 50, he wasn’t doing what he was supposed to do. Can anyone even imagine that in today’s NBA?

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10.08.08 Top Five Rookie of the Year Winners

I know this blog may seem a bit random, but I have an explanation. Over at my main site www.sportsviews.com I will start my predictions for awards for the new season next week. Well, that gave me an idea. Since, over there, I will be predicting future winners of awards, why not look back at the winners of the past? That’s exactly what I’m starting to do today. I figured the Rookie of the Year award was as good of a place to start as any.

5. Oscar Robertson, Cincinnati 1961

Oscar barely passed Michael Jordan for a spot here. Michael averaged 28 ppg in his rookie year, but Oscar averaged 30 ppg. Michael improved his team’s win total by eleven, but Oscar managed fourteen. Of course one could argue that Michael pushed the Bulls into the playoffs, while Oscar did not do the same for the Royals. I decided to split hairs and go with Oscar Robertson. Both had amazing rookie seasons, but to average 30 points in your rookie year is unimaginable today.

4. Larry Bird, Boston 1980

The amazing thing about the Magic vs. Larry rivalry is that in both of their first NBA seasons they were wildly successful. Magic would win the NBA Finals MVP trophy and grab the first of his five rings, and Larry would win the Rookie of the Year. Magic had one of the great rookie seasons ever, but Larry won the award, Magic didn’t. Larry Bird would put up an average of 21 ppg and 10 rpg in his first year. As impressive as that is, what’s even more impressive is his impact on the Boston Celtics record. The year before Larry went to Boston the Celtics won 29 games. In Larry’s rookie year their record went up to 61 wins. As I said, impressive!

3. David Robinson, San Antonio 1990

Tim Duncan will probably always be the greatest player in the history of the Spurs, but David Robinson had the better rookie season. The biggest number that jumped out at me when looking over past winners for the list was the wins that accompanied Robinson’s arrival to San Antonio. The year before Robinson the Spurs won 21 games, and the year in which Robinson arrived the Spurs won 56 games. San Antonio went from being near the bottom of their division in 1989 to winning it 1990. That’s the impact Robinson had on the Spurs. He may never have become the player he should have been(He can thank Hakeem), but he still had one of the best rookie seasons ever.

2. Lew Alcindor, Milwaukee 1970

Kareem(or Alcindor) is an underrated legend. Everyone always seems to remember him as the guy with the funny name and the afro. Well, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is probably one of the top five players of all time. His rookie year leaves nothing to be desired. He averaged 28 ppg along with 14.5 rpg. That’s not a bad stat line my friends(Gotta love ripping off a 72 year old crazy). As I’ve done with the rest of the list, Kareem took the Milwaukee Bucks from a 27 win team to a 56 win team. One thing that has been so amazing in looking back on was seeing the impacts these players had on their teams. You just don’t see this kind of stuff anymore. Maybe that has to do with the big expansions the NBA has done. Either way, improving your team by 29 wins is pretty awesome.

1. Wilt Chamberlain, Philadelphia 1960

Why is Wilt Chamberlain the number one selection? The real question is: Why wouldn’t he be? Wilt Chamberlain averaged 37 ppg and 27 rpg in his rookie year. You’ll never see stats like that again people. The game may have been very different in Wilt’s day than now, but there’s no denying that Wilt Chamberlain dominated that game in ways we can’t even begin to imagine today. Wilt won the Rookie of the Year, but he also picked up the MVP as well. Could you imagine Greg Oden doing that? The Philadelphia Warriors only improved by 17 wins, but the stats speak for themselves. In 1960 Wilt Chamberlain not only had the greatest rookie season ever, but he had one of the great NBA seasons ever.

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10.01.08 Top Five Worst NBA Commentators

Well, we’re less than a month away from the start of the NBA season. Are you excited? I know I am. Anyway, I’m here with the sequel to last week’s top five list. Always save the worst for last, right? This week I’ve got the top five guys I just can’t stand to listen to. The five guys who I’m dreading listening to this season. You know what I’m talking about. Those guys that just make you want to throw something at the TV. Well, for me, these are those guys.

5. Reggie Miller

I love Reggie, don’t get me wrong. He was awesome to watch as a player. He may have been the greatest shooter in the history of the NBA. He just sucks as a commentator. He just has this attitude of “just pay me my damn money!” Reggie just never really seems to like commentating and he just feels out of place with the rest of the TNT crew. That and he just never really has anything valuable to say. Maybe it’s that he’s trying to play Mr. Nice. He’s just not that guy.

4. Mark Jackson

I mentioned my dislike for this dude in my last article. I just can’t get around the fact that he’s just there because he used to play basketball and he is a good gag to play off of Van Gundy. During the last NBA Finals it just seemed like this guy didn’t really know what he was talking about. That’s especially weird considering that he played the game professionally and quite well at that. I rank him a little low on the list because the rest of the squad is just too offensive. Jackson may be dumb enough to mistake Kobe Bryant for Michael Jordan, but these other three guys are way worse.

3. Stuart Scott

Note to Stuart Scott: You’re not cool! When I watch the half time shows with Stuart Scott and which ever guy the found in the back, I always feel bad for the guy trying to have a conversation with Stuart. It’s like seeing someone trying to have a conversation with Michael from The Office. Stuart thinks he uses all of this cool and hip lingo, but what he really sounds like is a giant nerd. I have no problem with nerds, but I don’t want to watch Urkle every time I watch basketball.

2. Kenny Smith

Kenny Smith is a tool. I remember this one time on TNT you had Magic Johnson and Charles Barkley calling each other hall of fame players. Magic and Charles are in the hall, Kenny Smith is not. Kenny had the biggest sour face look, and it was sad. Kenny was not a great player. He was good, but not great. Most of the time, I think he just has a job because he’s good at making fun of Charles Barkley. Other than that, there’s not much Kenny adds that a hundred other former players couldn’t also do.

1. Bill Walton

Did you expect someone else? Bill Walton is the biggest whack job in sports. I remember in this one game, ESPN goes to commercial with a shot of a ball hitting the rim a few times and then bouncing in. Bill Walton proclaims “Nothing but net!” I remember wondering if he was watching the same game that I was. That’s a question I seem to ask at least once whenever I watch a game in which Walton is commentating. The guy must have done too many drugs back in the 70’s. Actually, who am I kidding? You know this guy has a “legalize it” sticker on the back of his Hybrid. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it does make him suck at calling basketball games. Maybe Bill Walton is just freakin’ crazy!

I’ll see you all Friday. Until then, click on the link below.

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09.24.08 Top Five Best NBA Commentators

Well, I’m back with my weekly top five list. I figured why not get two blogs out of one idea? This week I’m going to be giving you my five favorite NBA commentators and then next week I will throw out my five least favorite. How does that sound? Oh well, I like it.

5. Kevin Harlan

You’ll have to excuse that bad picture. I’m sure it’s not a surprise to learn that Kevin Harlan doesn’t rival Jessica Alba or Megan Fox for quality pictures. I’m pretty sure he’s never had his own spread in Maxim, at least I hope so… Anyway, I love this guy even if he’s a bit of a rip off from the number one selection. Who could not love his line when LeBron dunked on KG in the playoffs last season? “LeBron James with no regard for human life!” That just nearly beats out my favorite “Right between the eyes!” I love how he hits that line in the closing minutes of a close game when a player hits a three. Uh, it’s just classic stuff.

4. Doug Collins

This is what Bill Walton should be. What I love about Doug Collins is his common sense approach to the game. I remember when the Suns were getting torched by the Lakers in the first round three seasons ago, and Shawn Marion was playing lose on Kobe, resulting in a Kobe lay-up. Doug Collins just goes “Come on, that’s Kobe Bryant!” Doug always manages to say the “duh” moment that the teams can’t say to themselves. I know a lot of people may like Breen, Van Gundy and Jackson, but I think Harlan and Collins is my favorite commentating set.

3. Stan Van Gundy

I can’t stand Mark Jackson. I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe it was in the NBA Finals when he said he would take Kobe Bryant over Michael Jordan. It’s really smart commentary to say that you wouldn’t take the greatest NBA Finals performer in history, but you would rather have a guy who was getting schooled by Paul Pierce, a guy who had never even been to the Finals before. Oh well, Stan Van Gundy is pretty damn awesome though. I love how he just speaks his mind. He’s not afraid of ruffling a few feathers(that one’s for you moose killer VP) in the NBA front offices. That and I love how he’s able to put you down and then put himself down ever worse in the span of two sentences.

2. Charles Barkley

Some people do forget that Charles Barkley isn’t a clown. I know it may seem that way, but if you actually listen to him, he does say some very smart things on basketball occasionally. Still, there’s no denying that he is the main reason why TNT truly has the only halftime show worth watching. I don’t want to watch Stuart Scott, like ever! What makes the TNT show the best presentation in basketball is that the people really seem to enjoy what they’re doing. Charles Barkley is a big part of that fun. At least I find it fun…

1. Marv Albert

Biting aside, you know this guy is the best. He just has the quintessential voice for commentating. It’s kind of drab, but also weathered. I don’t know, but this is the guy and you know it! He’s freaking Marv Albert! “Oh, what a move by Jordan!” That was this guy! He’s just one of those voices that any great moment in sports must be accompanied by. It’s just like a rule that was written somewhere. I don’t know where, but I guarantee you, it’s somewhere. Maybe it was on the third tablet that Moses dropped coming down Mount Sinai(History of the World, Part I). “Thou shalt have good sports commentators!” Marv Albert at least has one commandment on his side, if only one.

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09.17.08 Top Five NBA Team Uniforms

Welcome to The Quick Report! Welcome to my weekly top five blog. Last week I threw out my Top Five NBA Team Names, and so in keeping with the window dressing aspect of NBA teams, this week I give you my Top Five NBA Team Uniforms. There are thirty teams in the NBA and countless uniforms there in. Whether it is for home, away or whatever else, the NBA has a lot of uniforms. So, narrowing them down to my five favorites wasn’t easy, but hey, it’s my job. I’m sure I can suffer through it. What do you think?

5. New Orleans Hornets, Green

I know some might think this one looks a little cheesy, but I’ve always really liked it. For starters, green is my favorite color. Plus, I like the fact that it’s different than other NBA teams’ uniforms. With the Sonics now dead, the Hornets will have to carry the green flag. Whenever I’m flipping through the cable channels and I catch one of their games I always am able to identify the uniforms before the players. That doesn’t always happen with some of the generic blue or white jerseys we see on so many NBA teams.

4. New York Knicks, Blue

Well, I’ve kind of painted myself in a corner, haven’t I? I bash blue colored uniforms in the last sentence of the paragraph for the number five selection and then I go and rank a blue colored uniform higher. Well, come on, give me a break. Seriously, when I think of the New York Knicks I think of Patrick Ewing in this very blue jersey. I remember when Kobe Bryant was demanding to be traded and there was all of this speculation on where he might go. When the Mavericks were apparently in the hunt I remember I told a friend that I didn’t think Kobe would look right in a Mavericks uniform. My friend replied “All players look good in a Knicks jersey.”

3. Los Angeles Lakers, Yellow

I was torn on which Lakers jersey to put on the list. The purple one is really cool, but I think I like the white jersey the best. If I were a big Laker fan though, I’d have to buy the yellow one. The yellow Laker jersey is the Lakers. Whenever I think of Wilt, Kareem, Worthy, Magic, Shaq or Kobe I see them in a yellow Lakers jersey. It’s like I said about the Knicks, this jersey is a big part of the identity of one of the great sports franchises. More importantly, this jersey is a big part of the NBA’s identity. I think this deserves mention.

2. Boston Celtics, Green

Should I just copy and paste the last paragraph, substituting the Lakers with the Celtics? The Boston Celtics is the greatest NBA franchise in the history of the league. They may have the white jerseys that has just as many legendary moments soaked into them, but I like the green jerseys. When I think of the “Boston Celtics” I think of green. It’s the color association that I think most of us would probably use. Like the yellow for the Lakers, I always think of the great Celtic players in the green jerseys. The white ones are also awesome, but I don’t want to clog up a top five blog with two selections from the same team.

1. Chicago Bulls, Black

I bet this is the one you’ll laugh at most, right? I know the Bulls are most remembered as playing in the red and white jerseys, but I always like the black ones. Considering that black is such a popular color(I know it’s not a color!) for everyday people, it’s funny how few historically good NBA teams use the color. The Bulls only kind of use the color, primarily sticking to the aforementioned red and white colors. I like the black one! I just think it looks cool. Besides, isn’t that kind of the idea of having designed uniforms?

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09.10.08 Five Best NBA Team Names

Hello, to all the NBA fans out there. As some of you might have noticed, on Wednesdays I’ve started posting top five blogs. Well, that’s now the plan anyway. Each Wednesday you can come back here and see my weekly top five list. Now I know it’s kind of pointless for a blog to have a schedule, but that’s just how I roll. That’s right, I’m lame. Anyway, last Wednesday I wrote my weekly top five list about the worst NBA team names. Well, this week I figured why not come full circle and throw out the five best NBA team names?

5. Utah Jazz

Okay, this isn’t really a good name, but how could I leave it off? The fact that arguably the most mundane city in America in Salt Lake City has a sports team named after music that is anything but mundane, well, that’s irony folks. I can’t help it, I’m a fan. Now we all know that the Jazz originated in New Orleans where the name actually made sense, but for the franchise to settle in a state primarily known for the Mormon religion, that’s just pure comedic gold. Besides, could anyone think of a better name for a team in Utah than something littered with irony?

4. Phoenix Suns

I will be the first to admit that this sounds like a WNBA team name, and it’s about as threatening as the thought of fighting a 72 year old John McCain. Still, something about this name just works. The name completely fits with the desert area in which Phoenix is located, and it just sounds good. Whenever it comes time for the weekly TNT games or whatever, this name just sounds so good in the billing. “The Suns take on the Lakers, tonight at nine!” The Phoenix Suns is a name that fits its franchise, not like some other NBA names that are just there because the franchise has to have a name.

3. Boston Celtics

Do I really need to say more than the fact that this team has seventeen championships? The term “Celtics” just epitomizes what the view of the Boston culture is known to be. The idea is that the city is primarily blue collar, Irish and catholic. It’s about this idea that Boston isn’t about flash or spectacle, but rather hard work and team philosophy. The Boston Celtics are the NBA’s premier franchise. It will always probably be that way. Unless the number two pick has something to say about it…

2. Los Angeles Lakers

I know, I know! The name “Lakers” is patently ridiculous for a city that has no lakes. We all know that the team started in Minneapolis and then moved to Los Angeles. The thing is I don’t care. The name just rolls right. When you say the name “Los Angeles Lakers” there’s not a moment of disconnect where it feels wrong or out of place. The Boston Celtics may be a name that makes sense to the city in which the team is hosted, but the Los Angeles Lakers and their name have just about equally prestigious name recognition. That can’t be overlooked.

1. New York Knicks

One thing I have always found so fascinating about the New York Knicks is that they, somehow, have managed to become an NBA marquee franchise. Unlike the Boston Celtics, the Los Angeles Lakers or even the Chicago Bulls, the Knicks have never really done anything. They’ve had a hand full of NBA Finals appearances and two championships about thirty five years ago. They’ve never really done anything to warrant such high placement in the NBA’s franchise hierarchy, but they still seem to be the quintessential basketball team. The Knicks have the most famous arena in the world to play in, and the biggest basketball nuts in as fans. Like the Los Angeles Lakers, the name of the New York Knicks just works. In my opinion, more so than any other name in the NBA.

I’ll see you guys Friday. In the meantime, do me a favor and visit www.sportsviews.com

09.03.08 Five Worst NBA Team Names

As I’m sure most of you have heard the former Seattle Supersonics formally became the Oklahoma City Thunder today. With stepping in line with an utterly horrible name, I thought I would pick the five team names that I think are the absolute worst. Now, I don’t think I could leave the Thunder off the list, but they’ve yet to actually play a game under that name. I figure it’s best that I keep the list to teams that have actually played games in the NBA. So, without further explanation, here’s my list for the five worst NBA team names.

5. Miami Heat

The Miami Heat, of and in itself, isn’t really that bad of a name. What I dislike about it so much is the team’s news coverage headlines. “Miami’s heating up on Chicago” “The Pistons are feeling the heat” I’m sorry, but that goes beyond cheesy. The Miami Heat has been a really successful expansion team. Ever since the team was founded in 1987, they’ve been a decent staple in the fabric of the NBA. If only us basketball writers were a little more creative.

4. Los Angeles Clippers

This may be an odd selection. The Los Angeles Clippers certainly isn’t that ridiculous of a name. In fact, I would say it’s rather mundane. I think what I find so lackluster about the Clippers name is that the name synonymous with being a loser. The former Clipper Elton Brand may have articulated this the best three years ago when he said that he looked at the Clippers playoff history and it was only half a page long. The Clippers have been in the NBA for thirty eight years ever since they were the Buffalo Braves. If the name is synonymous with sucking, eventually that means the name sucks too.

3. Orlando Magic

I don’t want to sound sexist, but the Orlando Magic sounds like a WNBA team name. It seems like all of the WNBA team names are chosen to be marketable, but also non-threatening. Does a team named the “Magic” sound like a team that’s going to dominate anybody? I know I would fear a team that couldn’t muster some name of viciousness or basketball prowess, but rather that of fantasy. The Magic can just be thankful that they’ve been able to draft the two most physically imposing centers of the last 15 years. Maybe they can come to a time when they stop ripping off the greatest Laker off all time.

2. Charlotte Bobcats

Out of all the animals used as a mascot for a team, the Bobcats? Seriously? With the Thunder today and this team a few years ago, I’m really afraid of what we’ll see when Stern tries his European expansion in ten years. Did the new Charlotte organization have to go with a name that sounds like a junior high school somewhere in Appalachia? This is not good people!

1. Denver Nuggets

I know this is the number one selection, but do I really need to explain this? I know what “Nuggets” is supposed to reference, but I think we all can agree it brings a different image to mind than originally intended.

With exception of the Miami Heat, do any of these teams seem like a team that would compete for NBA championships? Mark it down; the Denver Nuggets will never win an NBA championship. God will simply not allow it. They’re just around to round out the league.

I’ll see you all Friday. Until then…

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08.27.08 Top 5 Most Annoying Players

Considering I spent the last week listing NBA nicknames, without having the stones to rank them, I figured I would throw out a Top 5 list today. I sat at my computer trying to think of some list different than “Top 5 Players of whatever” I decided maybe I should go negative. It’s working for John McCain, why not me? I couldn’t go with “Top 5 Worst Players in the NBA” because if we get to watch them, they’re not the worst players in the NBA. So, I decided I would pick the five players that I find the most annoying to watch. The guys that when they walk on the court you want to throw anything you can grab at the TV.

5. Allen Iverson, Denver Nuggets

Allen Iverson may be the best little man to ever play the game, but every time I see him I think of the player that mainly was the cause of the NBA becoming the place of the punk kids that make millions and have no respect. There’s no doubt that Allen Iverson is an extremely tenacious player, but would Michael Jordan or Bill Russell ever openly complain about having to go to practice?

4. Brad Miller, Sacramento Kings

I know people say not to judge a book by its cover, but if you were to look at Brad Miller no one would ever think he was a professional basketball player. He looks more like the guy who sells you tools at Home Depot. Whenever I see him play I think “There’s the new NBA logo right there!” If Brad Miller can play basketball, maybe Kobe Bryant and LeBron James really aren’t that great of athletes, just better than people like Brad Miller.

3. Deshawn Stevenson, Washington Wizards

I’m listing Deshawn Stevenson because of him mouthing off about LeBron James. I’m listing Deshawn Stevenson because he mouthed off to anyone that wasn’t named Earl Boykins. Actually, even that would’ve been going too far. Anytime an average player calls one of the premier players in the league “overrated” that average player is an idiot. When your career average in 8.7 ppg you have no room criticizing a player who’s racked up a career average to the tune of 27.3 ppg. It’s not about LeBron James, if Deshawn had bashed Boris Diaw he would’ve been out of line. Plus, you’re trademark is a hand gesture lifted from a wrestler? Seriously?

2. Jason Terry, Dallas Mavericks

I never really cared about Jason Terry until three years ago. Back when the Mavericks went to seven game with the Spurs, whenever Jason Terry would be interviewed I’d turn the TV on mute. He talks about faith and tries to sound like the good and hard working player, but I’ve never bought it. He’s either both lying and being too over the top with it, or he’s telling the truth and he’s just an over the top person. Either way, he’s that guy you work with you don’t want to sit by in the break room. You know who I mean…

1. Sasha Vujacic, Los Angeles Lakers

How could I not rank this guy as #1? From his rat-looking face(maybe a little harsh) to his annoying chest pounding, this guy sucks. He’s a good player, no doubt. He can shoot a mean three point shot, but I always root against the Lakers because of this guy. The last guy in the NBA I want to see wearing an NBA ring is Sasha Vujacic. If he does win a ring my hopes of him going to Europe, where I’ll never have to see him again, greatly diminish. How about this for a new rule? If you average less than ten points a game, you can’t show off, ever. If you do, you get an immediate ejection. Take note David Stern!

That’s it for today. I’ll see you guys Friday!

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